Always End With "I Love You!"

My father was in the hospital for his 60th birthday. That ended up being the day we were told he had kidney cancer. Little did we know he would leave us a short 73 days later. We took care of him at home the best we could. I worked nights so stayed with him during the days while my mother, sister, and brother covered the evenings.

He had many fellow real estate agents visiting him and asking if we needed anything. A few even offered to stay with him long enough for me to run to the store or pick up his medicine. For this I was always grateful and dad genuinely enjoyed their visits. He would tell everyone he would most likely lose his hair from chemo and planned on wearing one of those rainbow clown wigs when he returned to the office.

Towards the end his response to most questions such as "do you want to listen to music?" (Enya was his favorite) or "do you want to watch tv?" was "I don't care." When I came home from work dad was usually awake and I would sit and talk to him. He'd tell stories of his childhood or of my younger days. To this day I regret not writing them down or better yet recording him.

As I said goodnight I always asked "do you want me to turn off the light?" His response "I don't care." I always turned it off while saying "goodnight daddy, I love you." To this his response would be "me too Mary Ellen." Well this one night as I said goodnight I didn't ask about the light. I have absolutely no idea why but I neglected to say I love you as well. I made it halfway down the hall before my dad said "aren't you going to turn off the light?" I informed him that he always said he didn't care and I was never clear if he wanted it on or off. My dad asked me to turn it off. At that point my dad said "Thank you Mary Ellen. I love you." I answered "me too Daddy"

The next morning my dad was somewhat alert but unable to speak. He passed away shortly before noon. I had no idea why I did not say I love you to my dad the night before but in doing so the last words I will always remember my dad saying to me is "Thank you Mary Ellen. I love you."

From that day on I make it a point to always say I love you when leaving people I care about. Especially my two sons. Hopefully, no matter what, the last words my sons will remember me saying to them is "I love you!" ~ which I do with all my heart and soul.