Knowing The Rules

Brendan always liked pushing the limit when it came to rules in high school. He studied the rule book and knew them by heart. He carried the rule book with him for proof and was ready to negotiate. 

The seniors were taking a trip to visit one of the colleges. Brendan showed interest in going but was told he could not go because he had not taken the college entrance exams. He informed the counselor that it was not necessary to have taken the exam but only needed to be signed up to take it. He pulled out the rule book for proof. The counselor had no choice but to approve Brendan's request to join the class. 

Brendan was all smiles as he was telling me this and added the counselor was not going to be happy with him the next day. When I questioned him why that was he laughed as he said "tomorrow he has to help me fill out the application for the test." 

I believe that rule has since been changed. However, Brendan did accompany the class on all college trips. Way to go Brendan. Stand your ground!

Knives And Forks

On one occasion my sister had a pot luck with several friends and family. Christopher was about six. I thought I had everything he liked on his plate. While walking back to sit down I looked around and Christopher was not behind me. He was back at the food table. 

As I approached the table  I could see my brother was speaking sternly to Christopher. He was correcting Christopher for using a bad word. My brother told me what was said. 

It was a misunderstanding. After laughing, which my brother did not appreciate, I looked  at Christopher and explained we ask for a knife and fork. In case you missed it by brother thought Christopher asked for a 'f*****g knife. 

Grandpa's Shoelaces

Grandpa wore the men's dress shoes with the two or three holes for laces. On Monday nights he bowled and came home late. If it were raining or snowing he would take his shoes off by the back door in the kitchen. 

On those few nights he left them in the kitchen he would wake up the next morning to find them next to his bed with the laces taken out of the holes and placed in the shoes. He thought it was funny and always asked one of us three if we did it as a joke. Of course we did not. This went on for a while. 

One night he decided he was going to stay awake to catch the culprit. Which he did. He came home, left his shoes in the kitchen and went to bed. Only that night he slept with one eye open. Shortly after going to bed he had the surprise of his life. 

The culprit ... our Old English Sheepdog, Andy. He would bring the shoes up one by one place them by his bed then sit there and take out the laces. Grandpa was always amazed there were no bite marks or drool on them. Nobody guessed it was the dog. 

After that when Grandpa came home and it was wet he would take his shoes off, wipe them dry, and carry them upstairs. I always wondered if Andy would think to himself ~ I guess you can teach an old human new tricks.

Queenie Takes Fifth Place

When we moved to Arkansas I was hoping we could raise some animals. Some chickens for eggs. Possibly a pig. Towards the back of our property there was a pig pen. It would need some tender loving care before it could be used. I remember talking to Betty and she thought it would be a problem for the boys being so young to raise an animal and then eat it. I told her it would not. I would simply scold the boys for leaving the pig gate open then tell them to sit down and eat their pork chops.

Junior year of high school Brendan got involved in FFA. We had our pig. Brendan named her Queenie. Brendan was out there every day working with the pig. I loved watching the pig. I always thought I was a country girl trapped in a city girls body. Brendan did have two Boa Pythons but that is not exactly the type of animals I was thinking of.

County Fair time came around. Time for Queenie to enter the fair. She took fifth place. I was proud of Brendan since this was his first pig. After the fair Queenie was with us for about a month before she was slaughtered. Nothing beats home grown pork. (You should have seen that coming from the comment above.)

My Son The Eagle Scout

Brendan joined Cub Scouts at an early age. Unfortunately the small town where we live interest was low and the Pack folded.

With help of friends he was able to join a Pack in a nearby town. Brendan worked his way up the ranks to Boy Scout.

After several years, some obstacles, and hard work Brendan earned the required badges and completed the necessary tasks and projects to become an Eagle Scout.

I was so proud of him at his Eagle Ceremony. He lead his last Opening Ceremony as a Boy Scout and the Closing Ceremony as an Eagle Scout. Of course I had tears in my eyes as I remembered what he went through to achieve the highest rank of Boy Scouting. Congratulations Brendan.

A Blindfolded Strike

One of Grandpa's stories that he loved telling was when he was on a bowling league. Most bowlers will know what a beer frame is. When all but one bowler on a team get a strike in a single frame that person has to buy the team a round of drinks.

There was one man who ended up on the team that the others did not care for. He was a replacement for someone who had to drop out. They all hoped he got stuck buying rounds. On this night two bowlers had strikes. This man did not strike. It was up to Grandpa for the drinks.

They all cheered him on. Grandpa made a gesture of bowling blindfolded. The man yelled out "if you get a strike blindfolded I'll buy doubles." Grandpa accepted the challenge.

Once Grandpa was on the lane with his bowling ball someone came to blindfold him. Grandpa said he could feel the looks as the bowling alley became silent. He knew everyone was focused on him.

A strike!! He did it. The whole bowling alley broke out in applause. Grandpa said you could tell the man was not happy but he kept his word and bought doubles for the team. People talked about the blindfolded strike for years.

My Brother Is The Conductor

Christopher worked on a small railroad here in Arkansas. He was able to go to work with someone for two days then again for a week during the summer. They liked him and offered him a job after high school. Graduation was Friday he moved out Sunday and started work Tuesday. Of course he started at the bottom on the track gang and went on to locomotive mechanics before becoming a conductor and eventually an engineer.

One time while visiting he surprised Brendan by telling him he could ride on the train with him. They left early that morning with plans for me to meet up with them at Subway. It is hard to explain but due to track conditions and bridges that particular train could not go very fast. What took them several hours took me a bit over an hour to drive.

When I arrived at Subway I went in and bought a drink. I asked the girl if the train had already come by. She said no. After waiting about an hour I told her I was not familiar with the area and asked her which direction the train would be coming. She pointed though looked at me strangely and said "Mam you do know this isn't a passenger train, right?" I laughed as I explained to her that my son worked on that train and was giving his brother a ride.

A few minutes later I heard the whistle of the train. I stood there watching for it to come into view. As the train inched closer I could see Brendan waving to me out the window. Christopher hopped off the train walking beside it as it crossed the intersection. I did tell you it moved slow. We knew the train could not stop but would slow down enough for Brendan to get off. Christopher had just a few minutes to say goodbye before having to jump on the last car as it passed.

My eyes started tearing as the train came closer. I can not explain the feeling I had this being Brendan's first train ride and having Christopher as the conductor. I was so proud of him. Christopher asked me why I was crying. I just told him ... "it's a mom thing" Brendan could not stop talking about his train ride. He was so excited.

Grandpa's Garden

One year in New York Grandpa decided to buy three rose bushes. He planted them in the front yard under the living room window. One each in red, yellow,and pink.

When they needed weeding he would lay down on the grass and talk to the roses while he pulled the weeds. Even when he watered them he had a few kind words for them. Well, it paid off. The roses came up beautifully. There were red roses on one side and pink roses on the other. The middle bush had some yellow, some yellow and red, and some yellow and pink. Many would say it was because the bushes were planted together but Grandpa always swore it was from him talking nicely to them.

When we moved to California our backyard was in three sections. There was a pool, a little grass area and along the length of the back fence there was a raised area that Grandpa said would be perfect for a garden. I do not remember all of it but I know there was a lot of ivy and an oleander tree. He wanted to take all that out and plant vegetables on one half and flowers on the other half. For some reason Grandma always told him no she liked it the way it was.

After Grandpa passed away at such a young age I always wanted to start a garden and put up a garden sign labeled Grandpa's Garden. Unfortunately I am not an outdoor person during the summer and do not get much yard work of any kind done. I remembered this story when talking to Christopher. He told me he started a garden. He brews his own beer and is growing the hops he needs. Along with onions, tomatoes, squash, okra, jalapeños, and a few other treats. I am sure Grandpa is looking down ... smiling.

First Cold

Christopher was seven the first time he got a cold. We were visiting Grandma Betty getting ready for the two hour trip home.

While I was talking to Betty, Christopher told me he could not breathe through his nose. I gave him a tissue and told him to blow his nose.

A few minutes later Christopher told me he blew his nose and still could not breathe. As I told him to blow it again it dawned on me that he had never had a cold before. He was seven years old and this was his first cold. We spent another night at Grandma's and went home the next day.

Christopher looked and felt better the following day so I sent him to school. Early afternoon school called telling me it looked like Christopher had pink eye in both eyes. I made a doctor's appointment and picked him up from school.

The doctor prescribed antibiotics. While at the pharmacy picking up his medication they asked if he was allergic to anything. I informed them I did not know as this was the first time he was sick and on medication. The lady behind me had four small children with runny noses and said "wow you don't know how lucky you are."

To tell you the truth I do not remember him getting that sick again.

You Did Not Check Your Shoes?

Brendan was about two years old. Grandma was getting dressed. I am really not sure if Grandma asked him to get her shoes or if Brendan just wanted to help. That part of the story was never clear.

I had just finished cleaning up breakfast dishes. Brendan and I were watching morning cartoons when the phone rang. It was Grandma. Frantically she said you have to bring me a pair of shoes. Seems when she arrived at work she had one black and one blue shoe on. Luckily the style was similar.

I gathered up what I thought would be a match for her shoes plus a black pair as well. When we arrived at her work Grandma was relieved to have matching shoes.

Grandma told me Brendan brought her shoes to her this morning and she just put them on. As I asked her why she did not check them after having a two year old hand them to her she just glared at me. Of course it might of been because I could not stop laughing.

Lesson learned: always check your shoes before leaving the house. Especially when a two year old hands them to you.

Something's Wrong With Grandpa

Brendan was a year and a half old when we found out grandpa had cancer. Coming home from the hospital weak and on oxygen was not easy for any of us but it seemed especially scary to Brendan. Possibly the noise from the concentrator made him nervous. Or just the the nose tubing itself was the reason. (as I wear oxygen myself I get odd looks from my two year old grandson ... yes, Brendan's son lol)

Brendan was always playful and cheery however, when close to grandpa he was stiff as a board and seemed emotionless. I remember on Father's Day grandpa's Godchild, Ann, and a friend came to visit. The friend was going to play the penny whistle for dad so I put Brendan on my dad's bed. He instantly froze. I took him off and he just stood across the room listening to the music.

Five days later would be grandpa's last. My mother arranged for hospice to come as dad was getting harder to care for. The hospice nurse showed up around 10:00 am

I don't know if Brendan understood what was being said or if he just had a feeling. He left the kitchen and went towards the room where grandpa was. I didn't rush because I knew Brendan hadn't, to this point, gone close to grandpa or the equipment. Arriving at the door of his room I found Brendan standing on the bed frame leaning over his grandpa looking to the door as watching for me. When he saw me he turned toward grandpa and gave him a kiss on the cheek as grandpa kissed him back.

He then came over to me hugging my leg. He looked up at me, then toward grandpa, and again at me as to say he's dying mom can't you do anything. I have always believed with Brendan being so young and grandpa being so close to death they shared a special 'heavenly' bond that day. Grandpa was gone within the hour.

Saying Goodbye To Grandpa

Saying goodbye to grandpa was not easy, especially for Christopher. They had a close relationship in the short nine years they had together.

While grandpa was in the denial stage he was telling Christopher plans he had for them when he got better. I had the unfortunate task of telling Christopher grandpa would probably not live to carry out any of them.

The morning of his passing Christopher could not bring himself to see grandpa. I tried many times telling him his grandpa would not live much longer.

Finally Christopher found the courage and went to his grandpa. Unable to speak you could see in his eyes he was telling Christopher he loved him. They held hands while Christopher, through his tears, told grandpa he loved him. Grandpa shedding tears as well. Then they kissed each other goodbye.

It wasn't too much longer after that farewell grandpa left us. I always believed grandpa hung on waiting for Christopher to say goodbye. Possibly even giving him the courage to make that tearful memory.

Always End With "I Love You!"

My father was in the hospital for his 60th birthday. That ended up being the day we were told he had kidney cancer. Little did we know he would leave us a short 73 days later. We took care of him at home the best we could. I worked nights so stayed with him during the days while my mother, sister, and brother covered the evenings.

He had many fellow real estate agents visiting him and asking if we needed anything. A few even offered to stay with him long enough for me to run to the store or pick up his medicine. For this I was always grateful and dad genuinely enjoyed their visits. He would tell everyone he would most likely lose his hair from chemo and planned on wearing one of those rainbow clown wigs when he returned to the office.

Towards the end his response to most questions such as "do you want to listen to music?" (Enya was his favorite) or "do you want to watch tv?" was "I don't care." When I came home from work dad was usually awake and I would sit and talk to him. He'd tell stories of his childhood or of my younger days. To this day I regret not writing them down or better yet recording him.

As I said goodnight I always asked "do you want me to turn off the light?" His response "I don't care." I always turned it off while saying "goodnight daddy, I love you." To this his response would be "me too Mary Ellen." Well this one night as I said goodnight I didn't ask about the light. I have absolutely no idea why but I neglected to say I love you as well. I made it halfway down the hall before my dad said "aren't you going to turn off the light?" I informed him that he always said he didn't care and I was never clear if he wanted it on or off. My dad asked me to turn it off. At that point my dad said "Thank you Mary Ellen. I love you." I answered "me too Daddy"

The next morning my dad was somewhat alert but unable to speak. He passed away shortly before noon. I had no idea why I did not say I love you to my dad the night before but in doing so the last words I will always remember my dad saying to me is "Thank you Mary Ellen. I love you."

From that day on I make it a point to always say I love you when leaving people I care about. Especially my two sons. Hopefully, no matter what, the last words my sons will remember me saying to them is "I love you!" ~ which I do with all my heart and soul.

Trapped On A Mountain

A friend, who was an experienced hiker, took Christopher and another boy hiking. They were going up the mountain side behind us. I wasn't real worried because I knew he was familiar with the area and had been on numerous hikes before. So with a backpack filled with snacks and water, a hug, a kiss, a warning to be careful and listen to Mike, and of course a wish to have fun ~ off he went.

I went on with my day. Early afternoon a disabled acquaintance who was unable to drive was looking for a ride to the store. Needing some items myself I offered to take him. As we got closer to home we noticed a helicopter flying nearby. Then while entering the gate I was informed the helicopter was trying to rescue Christopher and his friend.

I drove the car to the house and started walking toward the gate with Brendan. A police car stopped me and asked if I was Christopher's mom. As I said yes he told me to get in the car he would take me to the rescue sight. My heart sank and it seemed to take forever. I don't remember much other than finally holding Christopher in my arms.

Apparently they reached a point on the mountain that was very soggy and they were unable to get a grip to climb out. Mike knew he could climb out so he left instructions for the boys to stay right where they were and he would go for help. Christopher said his friend got scared and wanted to try to climb out but he refused saying they were told to stay there. He admitted he was scared too but tried to keep his friend calm.

When the helicopter man got to them Christopher said to take his friend first. When it was his turn he was told he could not carry out anything. Christopher tried to put his Notre Dame hat under his shirt telling the rescuer he was not leaving his hat. I think he said the man put it on his head for safe keeping. All I know is he kept his hat.

I was so proud of Christopher that day. They were told if they had moved they might not have been able to get them out. As it was the first man down got into wet ground and had to be lifted out himself. I was also thankful to Mike for his experience and help in having the boys rescued. As well as the helicopter rescue team.